SBI Youth for India 2014-'15 - Part 1

I had great difficulty spending my life at Trivandrum, after having a "totally rebellious", as my parents called it, for 5+ years at Chennai.

Small town, its tranquility, lots of new people, new ambitions, my parents shedding a lot of their inhibitions etc had made it a lot easier, but still I wanted more.
I joined an odd "marathon" of sorts, just a kilometer long. Joined a "different" type of organization called Innovation eXperience, which gave me really lots to experience and a cool set of friends.
Had finally decided to seriously start preparing for the civil services exam. Joined a coaching institute, for the evening batch. I understood, my classmates, all men, found it a bit weird to see me there... but contrary to all expectations, I can assure you all, returning home by auto and bus at night 9pm was not a very tough job after all. My parents were concerned, bit they had anyways started accepting the fact that I'd face anything to fulfill my desires. I too had no option as I was working during the day. After a month, got my bike. Honestly I realized that the auto + bus was far more safe. At times, men used to follow me when I was on bike. Fortunately, I too could take it as a game. I was never scared, never took any of the short routes, strictly kept to the main roads, and gave them a good chase. I also felt good, a god adrenaline rush each night, after a long and tiresome day.

Soon it was time for all classes to be wrapped up. Just 3 months remained for the exams. I had taken leave from my office. I was sitting at home and studying. I used to feel good and confident. I was preparing for the UPSC prelims exam, with great vigour, but poor direction. I was supposed to mug up all details regarding all those factual topics - history, geography, economics, polity. I was instead lost in the details within the Indian Constitution - a beautiful craft, the philosophical and provoking articles in the centre page of The Hindu, the piercing articles of Economic and Political Weekly, books and talks of Amartya Sen, Prof. Swaminathan, Ramachandra Guha and P. Sainath.

I understood, I was drifting towards work from TISS and UNDP. I was actually losing interest in sitting and preparing for the exam. I wanted to be on field, work in the deelopment sector, mobilize all the contacts and knowledge obtained in my life. It was becoming more and more difficlut to just sit with the books and make notes. I was reminded of a story of a friend who too got carried away during this preparation. Unfortunateky, in his case, he neither fared the exams well, nor did he work in the development sector. He shut his one passion for the other, wasted away more than a year, was depressed and took a long time to get back to regular life. I did not want to fall in the trap.

I looked for different avenues to spent my energy on. Was planning on travel, volunteering, doing courses etc, but determined to do all these after I write the UPSC prelims well. It was during this time, that I chanced uopn an odd mail from a linked in discussion group. I lead me to the SBI YFI page. Some disclaimer on the top "This does not lead to job at SBI" was actually interesting for me, as I had never wanted to work in a bank. I read through the wntire site and the alumni blog. Re-read the application form some ten times. Tried filling in some of the queries too. Even talked to some people about it. All responses were negative. I "starred" the mail, closed all the pages and got back to my studies. I had imagined that I would forget all about it, but fortunately, I hadn't.

I had opened the site and repeated the same exercise for some 5-6 times before the last day. Finally, at midnight, last day, I applied. I was too astonished to find a pretty fast reply, within 2-3 days, saying that I had to choose a venue for my interview. I had searched for SBI YFI on FB and was too overwhelmed to find that I had been called for the interview, in spite of 6000+ candidates applying ofr the same.

SBI Youth for India 2014-'15 - Part 2

I had chosen Bangalore as my venue for interview. My mom too accompanied me, as she had planned to have a small family gathering as well. It was the first time, me and mom were going for a long trip without dad. Felt different and exciting. I was leading Amma in this trip. Over the years the dynamics in our relation had changed a lot. She was both appreciative and trusted my instincts and skill. She was proud that she had raised a fine lady, though even now, there are too many things that she disapproves in me.

I got a bit emotional there. Getting back to the story....
I would be attending the day 1, batch 1 interview. As always, I was excited about the mystery of not having any clue about the venue or the interview format. My friend from IIT-M, Sandeep Erwin, who is currently pursuing his MBA from IIM-B had agreed to pick me up from the railway station, arrange some accommodation for me and take me to interview venue. Had a quick and sweet time at IIM campus and rushed for the interview. He dropped me at the State Bank of Mysore's Learning Centre. I checked with the security guard, he asked me to go to second floor conference hall. I bid adieu to my friend and hopped in soon. I got into the conference hall. An authoritative man at the dais, was upset with me for not wearing my identity card, but nonetheless, let me in. Soon, I was asked to sign in the attendance register. As, I could not find my name printed, I was just asked to write in my name and city. By the time I finished writing, the speech got over, and I also applauded him along with others. Next, they announced that the trainees should give a short intro: name, branch of bank where they were working and their experience in the first 2 months. I was the first person to start.

I was a bit baffled, as I had not yet been selected by SBI for the fellowship, nor did I expect to be working in the bank. However I already knew that there would be 2 batches for this program - one in Sep and anther in Nov. So, I assumed that this meeting would be the fellows who were already selected for the September batch. So, I stood up, told my name and city, and explained that I hope to be selected by SBI soon and so I am not yet assigned to any branch what-so-ever. This confused everyone there. There were many questions then. I finally managed to explain to them why I was there. They all had a hearty laugh. They explained to that I was at State Bank of Mysore and State Bank of India had their learning centre nearby itself. They all wished me good luck and I started from there. This time alone, as my friend had already left. The security guard too had told me that SBI LC was close by, just a kilometer away. I hopped on to an auto, traveled for more than 30 minutes, spent nearly 200 rupees and finally reached there to realize that I had already gone past this building 3 times by then.

I was late for the interview by nearly 2 hours, and was too apprehensive of entering the building fearing more blunders were bound to happen. I am happy that I still decided to go in. The staff in charge were very friendly, and helped me to get settled. I was told that I would be interviewed last. I started interacting with the other candidates, started feeling at ease. Some people came out of the interview room feeling indifferent, some neutral and one totally disappointed. Manikanta Sharma, who was to go in before me was a delight to speak to and he had lots of stories to tell too. While his interview was going on inside, I was having a smaller interview outside with Mr. Shuvajith Payne, who was to be our chief point of contact for the future points. He did not seem happy when I said that it would be difficult for me to join this fellowship, but anyways gave me some good insights and spiked my curiosity levels.

Soon it was time for my interview.
I entered into the room and greeted the panel. I had a sense of deja vu, when Geeta Ma'm addressed me. I enjoyed my interview. My comfort level with the SBI YFI team increased when Joe Madiath sir asked me if my dad was a particular, Ravi Menon, who was his friend at Loyola College, Chennai. Small incidents these were, but they increased my confidence levels and sense of purpose a lot. With a strong sense of belief that I might be selected for this fellowship, I went back home.

Breezer Highs

It's Apple.. it's green
And soda giving it the sheen
Came as a pair to lend me a high
Bro code it did follow nigh
Alcohol made it tingly n tangy
Parental gaze forbade its rangy
Nonetheless, it came into my room, gave me a high, let me rant,
For I feared no ant!!! 

How I Knew, I can't be with the MNC's

Ever since I was small, I awed the big companies who hit the headlines. Loved seeing the big tycoons from my country be listed among the world top. I tried to read about them. Their success inspired me. I had this bug of entrepreneurship gnawing within me. I majored in science and engineering, planning to confine myself within the wealthy walls of the R&D world. I had to commit myself to a life of pure research and before I delved in, I had to find my passion. I had a chunk of spare time to decide my chosen area of research. I did not know what to choose.

Some areas interested me and some promised me a good career ahead. Not knowing what exactly to do, I decided to free myself and go on a trip as I had enough saved up money. I just let myself follow my instincts. Did not go far and wide, instead spend a lot of time in my neighbourhood. My maid's grandson who was uninterested in school but still went for the computer sessions, an abandoned street pup, ever-growing uncleared garbage pile round the corner, the old woman who occasionally came to cut grass for her cow, orphanages and old age homes supported by the local NGO where I volunteer, girl down the street who's stopped going to school, teen-aged mother who picks trash for a day's meal. I decided to cut my trip short. Split my savings and gave it to the people who I felt deserved it the most among these. I was reminded that I was just giving them the fish, who would bother to teach them how to fish?

I started reading up on what I could do. I met each of them and talked to them. I debated with myself how my life would be if I chose either the PhD offer or the big R&D job. I knew it, I could not lie to myself. Had to muster up lots of courage to tell my parents my decision to turn down both these options.

I felt that among the people I met, the young girl who's stopped going to school, the teen-aged mother who picks trash for a day's meal, and the huge pile of garbage would never leave me. I knew it because I had at least some theoretical solutions for each of these. My education had empowered me. The girl had stopped school because she had no sanitary ware to take care of her monthly periods, the mom had no skill for a better and hygienic job, and there definitely was immense methods for solid waste management.

Hygienic sanitary ware and solid waste disposal and management demanded technical expertise and well-equipped work area. I knew I could not do them alone. I joined the research wing of a multi-national academic collaboration who were focused on sanitation and waste management. Skill development, I assumed could be managed by self-help groups (SHGs). I collaborated with a SHG, and got them to expand their skill training program and volunteered with them.

None of my actions changed anyone's life drastically. It did help them get noticed to get more help. Nevertheless, no significant change. This set me thinking. My ways were not good enough, my dreams needed more fuel. I realized non-profit works were mostly unsustainable. More frustrations, disappointments, excitements, panic attacks, request for help and favours, research, discussions, learnings lead me to the concept of social entrepreneurship, as a better way to approach these short-comings.

Back to God's Own Country

for full five years, I had been away from home for my studies and work at the Indian Institute of Technology, Madras. Considering that I had shifted from Trivandrum to Chennai, approximately 850 km between neighbouring state capitals. it wasn't a great deal. However I knew, it would be epic, epic in no way I had ever known.

True to my dreams, my 5 year stint at Chennai was epic. It changed me, my thoughts, my dreams, my principles and values, my beliefs, my frinds, my rights and wrongs... kind of changed me completely. If I were to quote a friend's flattering remarks, I was transformed to one fine woman, who was ready to take on the world, from being a childish girl who sat next to him during college days. I am definitely happy for the changes, though the changes happened as a result of the good and bad days I had. Yes, the bad days and events were equally significant. It was those same transformations that let me leave all things dear and easy and come back to Trivandrum, stay with my parents, face all the insecurities and fears from which I had been running away all these while. I had the courage, the will, but still my emotions were raw and immature, which made me pay hefty price at times. still, I moved on, facing the flow at my will.

The trip back to Trivandrum with a cartload of my belongings was not eventful, except for the regular smirks n scoldings from my dad who hated to see my ever-growing collection of never-to-be-disposed stuff. I can't help it, I am a natural hoarder, and I always have anything that anyone needs at home, things insignificant as a small piece of lac.

I had come back to help my mom and my aunt, who were both ill at the time. Also, my brother was about to leave the comforts of the home to the freedom of a bachelor life with a job at an MNC. I knew it was getting hard for my parents to survive without at least one of us near them, although we siblings always had a daily tiff with our parents. Against all sensible advice from all sincere friends I came back to my home, my coccon, and to deal with all its mess